The Creative Thinking Process - Three Examples

Creative thinking can be learnt. And to do so it helps to understand the creative thinking process: the structure and steps that you need to take to generate (and sometime evaluate) creative ideas.

Here are 3 examples of the creative thinking process. They all start with a definition of the creative challenge, or creative goal. In my case, this is to 'generate new ideas for a holiday'.

Information, Incubation, Ideation

This creative thinking process begins with gathering information. To generate ideas we need input, ideas won't emerge from an empty vessel! In my case, looking for ideas for a holiday, I'd go online, talk to friends, look through the travel magazines... any relevant source of information!

Next, relax. Put the challenge to one side. Forget about it. Let the information incubate in your mind. This process is rooted in the belief that generating ideas should be natural, stress-free and almost effortless. Let the mind do it's work in the subconscious.

The key thing is to make sure you're ready to capture the ideas as they emerge. Because the final ideation stage is quite fluid you need to be ready to write down the ideas before they're lost. Keep a notebook handly, especially on the bedside table, so that you can write down the ideas as soon as they emerge.

You'll soon find you have plenty of great ideas!

Observe, combine, create

This process begins in a similar way: observation is a way of gathering information.

The key to this process is combine. It's a technique of idea generation which involves taking existing ideas, and combining them to create something new.

This process is great for creating new products. As a very simple example, putting a camera into a mobile phone combined two existing products to create something new.

For my holiday, I might see a 'foodies' holiday in Italy, but chose to combine it with my original destination, Thailand. This inspiration could result in a tour around the gastronomic hotspots to sample Thai cuisine.

Dreamer, Realist, Critic

This final creative thinking process involves not just generating ideas, but also evaluating and improving them. It's know as 'The Disney Way' as it was originally used by Walt Disney to generate ideas and evaluate ideas for his movies.

The Dreamer is free of all constraints, has infinite resources and anything they think of is guaranteed to succeed. This mindset is designed to overcome limitations, and generate the 'free thinking' required to come up with great and outrageous ideas.

The Realist is more practical: evaluating and refining ideas.

And finally, The Critic asks if the ideas are really good enough. If not, it's back to The Dreamer!

As I search for a holiday, I might dream of going to the moon. Not possible, but as I become a realist it will trigger more thoughts. Perhaps I could visit NASA? Or try skydiving? Or visit Area 51?

In summary: Three Creative Thinking Processes

Next time you have a challenge that requires a creative solution, try using these techniques. You'll soon be developing your creative thinking skills, and generating more and better ideas too!

Written by:Colin Bates

Healing a Broken Relationship - Is It Even Possible?

If it's broken, can it be healed? And how on earth would you even begin when healing a broken relationship? Unfortunately, most people just continue on doing the same things over and over again, not even realizing what's happening until the relationship falls apart. And by that time, things may have gotten so bad that it seems as if it would be impossible to fix. But you must remember, it didn't get broken overnight and it may take some time and effort to put the pieces back together again.

Steps to Saving a Relationship

Before you can even begin to pick up the pieces, it may help to broaden your perspective. Imagine that you are an innocent bystander looking at the relationship from a distance. Look at all sides of the relationship, not just yours or theirs, but the relationship on its own as well. It's easy to get caught up in your wants and desires versus your partner's wants and desires. In order to make a relationship work, at least some consideration has to be paid to just maintaining the relationship itself.

For example, in order to be a good son or daughter, you put some effort into maintaining the family relationship with your parent or parents. To be a good friend, you do things to maintain that friendship. You may do things that you don't particularly wish to do, but you do them because you enjoy the results that you get from them.

However, in a romantic relationship, you may believe that love should conquer all. And this is a belief that a lot of people may carry around in the back of their minds without even realizing it. Unfortunately, love doesn't automatically make everything work out. Or at least it doesn't unless you also take the time and effort to work through issues as they arise.

Try to determine what the main issues are in the relationship. And remember that each of you contribute to these issues in one way or another. It's never just you or just them.

Talk with each other and see if you can identify general issues issues. Don't be surprised if you each come up with very different ideas as to what the issues are. But before you even start, agree to listen to each other's side and not criticize each other. Try to create a safe space for both of you.

Be willing to own up to your shortcomings. After all, everyone has them. And while they may be part of the problem, remember that most issues are based on people's actions. And actions can be changed.

Be willing to see if you can come to a common ground. Sometimes, just by identifying the issues you can think of some relatively easy ways to resolve them. Other things may be more difficult to resolve, but by being willing to talk about them and work through them you'll greatly increase your chances of creating your own solutions.

But just talking isn't enough. You must also do what's necessary to fix the problems. If your partner is hesitant at first, or refuses to work with you, don't be afraid to move forward yourself. By showing them that you are serious about working things out, it may encourage them to do the same.

Try to focus on the relationship itself. Look for things that will bring the two of you together. Look for ways to show them a little kindness here and there - something that you know they will enjoy. Lighten up a bit. Do something fun, don't take everything so seriously.

Relationship struggles can cause a great deal of stress on both partners. Choose to do things to lessen that stress. Try to remember what brought you both together in the first place. What were the things you did then that you are not doing now? Sometimes that can be the best place to start.

Working together to heal your relationship isn't always easy but it can be enormously rewarding. Difficulties can occur in any relationship, but how you choose to resolve them can not only help you get back together but also create a strong, lasting bond that will last through the years. By working together, you can both create a relationship worth saving.

Written by:Shaelyn Mallory

Love Means - No Conditions Attached!

What is love? If you love me, I promise to be with you forever? No... Love is unconditional... It doesn't need reassurance, doesn't need conditions to be fulfilled. It is pure, unadulterated feeling for someone who may be very special to you.

The feeling a mother has for her child, the selfless simple gestures, which make a mother sacrifice everything for her child is love. Mother doesn't love a child hoping that someday the child will respect her or treat her well in her old age, there is no expectations in true love. Love means to give unconditionally. It means to be there for someone, it means to bring smiles and little joys in someone's life.

Love is not just a simple feeling. It means to care for someone more than self, to do everything possible to keep that someone happy. It is this feeling that makes one go down on knee to propose, makes one learn to cook, sing or dance just to please someone, makes one pay attention to smallest of details, it means to make someone smile even if it hurts inside. Love never brings tears of sorrow, only of joy. Love never means hiding things, it only knows sharing. Love brings the world closer!

If you truly love someone, you would not bother about how they look, how they dress up. All you would want to see is their smile, their happiness, which trust me is much more valuable than your own. If you are truly in love, you would let the other person fly high, taking support from you but never being held down by you. Love means to look up to someone, respect someone, and not look down upon someone.

Love is often confused with lust or the need to be physically with someone. Those who have never loved someone in the purest form, much above the physical desires would probably never understand this, for them love means to hold, cuddle, make out and do a lot more. But that's not love. Love doesn't need physical proximity, it doesn't need to be held or touched. It is a feeling that can be felt from distances apart, cause love brings hearts closer not the bodies.

Love has no conditions, no boundaries, nothing to hold it still. It needs to be free, it needs wings to fly, and it needs air to breathe just like the other person whom you love! Love means to trust someone totally and completely, the way a child trusts his mother. Love means to let yourself free and be the way you are, not having to pretend or please the one you love. It doesn't need good looks, great body or clothes. If that's what you look for before falling in love, then surely its lust and not love.

Written by: Ruchi Chandra

What Is the Strongest Emotion? Fear, Jealously or Embarrassment?

There are many different human emotions that have been discussed by psychologists and philosophers for over 2,000 years. Plato, Aristotle and Descartes have all had long and in-depth discussions about emotions. Through research in this modern day society, it seems the strongest emotion is highly subjective to the individual and while one will say fear, another might say jealously and yet another might say that love overrides them all. But what about embarrassment as an emotion? For this discussion we will be looking at three emotions, fear, jealously and embarrassment. Although previously unrecognized, I consider embarrassment to be a very strong and long lasting emotion, however, I was unable to find much research on the subject. In fact, embarrassment was only classified as an emotion in 2001 by being grouped as a tertiary (third category) emotion. If so, then why is it so powerful?

Fear

Fear is probably the oldest, most primitive, and reactive emotion that we possess, it is responsible for our "fight or flight" reactions, our very strongest survival instinct, and has been around since the very first living organism, from the "Cambrian" age, that developed a hard shell around itself for self-survival. In addition, other than a survival instinct, fear is also a learned emotional behavior, such as; fear of heights, fear of animals or fear of the dark. What some people may fear, others find exciting or acceptable like bungee jumping, parachuting, lion taming, or doing things like fishing and camping in the dark.

Jealously

In an article on charminghealth.com, jealously was best described in this way:

"Jealousy or jealous nature in a behavior represents one of the prominent negative emotions. At times jealousy is a natural, inevitable, reaction that usually indicates longing for those things which we have lost. Jealousy can be a learned social reaction as well as innate and instinctive for genetic survival. It is estimated that 20% to 35% of all murders involve a jealous lover."

Much like the "fight or flight" reaction, jealously can be an innate survival instinct of "genetic survival", however, when murder occurs, it is a pathological state that is usually accompanied by other psychological problems. It stems from the insecurity of having the ability to achieve or maintain the desired outcome whether it be career, possession or relationship related.

Embarrassment

Embarrassment, on the other hand, is an emotional state of intense discomfort with oneself, experienced upon having a socially unacceptable act or condition witnessed by or revealed to others, and/or committing an act in private that one knowingly does against their own moral standards.

Today, cyber (social) bullies use these tactics to embarrass their victims by making derogatory remarks or giving away private information about the victim. These remarks can be about race, size, hair color, family history, job performance or even nose and ear shape.

According to the CDC there are about 4,400 teen deaths a year and a study in Great Britain said that half are due to bullying. Although all bullying does not necessarily involve embarrassment, a large majority does and the effects are devastating. In the modern world of status and notoriety, achievement is measured very differently by individuals than in former years, and therefore, embarrassment has become a very powerful tool in the competitive society of today.

Of the three emotions that we have discussed in this article, embarrassment seems to be the most enduring. Fear is strictly a reactive emotion, as is jealously, and decay sets in quite rapidly in both. After a car accident and/or a near death experience, fear can dominate one's emotions for days to years after the incident and jealously can be another long lasting emotion that can take days to years to overcome. However, most normal people do, in time, overcome fear of something or the situations that created the jealousy.

However, embarrassment, in some cases, depending on the context, can stay with one for their entire life. When a child is traumatized by a remark about their hair color, size, nose or ear shape, or family background, the trauma can and sometimes does, last a lifetime. Regardless of the level of the self-esteem one may have reached, some may look back at certain situations in their past and still feel embarrassed. Psychologists and counselors are very much in demand these days because of the effects of embarrassment and it is a subject that needs much more research in order to understand the intensity of its role in people of all ages.

Doyle L Young attended the University of Arkansas at Fayetteville as a non-degree seeking student of Psychology and Sociology, studied drama and Shakespeare at the College of London in London, England, and had sixteen years of understudy with Dr. Donald R. Morrison PhD.,Psychology.

Written by:Doyle L Young

Are You Hanging Around With the Right People?

"I believe that close association with one who refuses to compromise with circumstances he or she does not like is an asset that can never be measured in terms of money." Napoleon Hill

Think about the people that you hang around with. Do they encourage you, uplift you, and see you in your highest good? Or do they hold you back, fearful that you will leave them behind if you're successful? (There are probably a few people in your life that want you to do well, just not better than them.)

If you consider the income levels of the five people that you keep company with most, you'll probably find that your income is right about the average of theirs. What does that mean? If you want to reach a higher level of success, it's important for you to be involved with people that have already reached the pinnacles that you are pursuing. If you are the smartest, wealthiest, most successful person in your group of friends, it may be time to look for new people to attract into your life.

Oftentimes we are too intimidated to approach the people we admire, fearful that we won't be able to bring anything to the friendship. After all, "What do I have to offer them?" is a question that you may ask yourself.

Relationships happen over time. If there is someone you admire and want to build a connection with, look for ways to be of service - with no expectation of return. Perhaps you can volunteer to help them at their next event. Or run errands for them when they are overloaded. Or simply send them thoughtful articles and reference materials that you feel they would be interested in having.

When I attended the National speaker association  Convention in 2012, I had the pleasure of having lunch with Harvey Mackay. If you're not familiar with him, Harvey wrote a New York Times best-selling book called, Swim With the Sharks Without Getting Eaten Alive. Because this book was so pivotal in my sales career, I quoted Harvey in my newly published book. After lunch, I approached Harvey and expressed my gratitude for the difference he made in my career. I offered him a personalized copy of my book, which he graciously accepted. We took a picture together and I figured that was the end of it.

One year later, I received a call from Harvey. Not only did he read my book, he wanted to quote it in his syndicated news column. I was blown away by his offer, and accepted it enthusiastically. I saw Harvey again at the 2013 Convention and thanked him profusely. I am profoundly grateful that I had the courage to approach him and share my book with him.

Look for ways that you can add value to their lives, without asking anything from them in return. It will be a refreshing change for them, and you may find that they are much more approachable than you think.

# # #

PS - Simply by giving Harvey mackey copy of my book, with no expectation of return, I received an unexpected gift. Kindness works!

PSS - This article is the fourth in a series based on Napoleon Hill's book, Think and Grow rich." If you have not read this amazing book, please pick up your copy today. This book will change your life!

Lisa Ryan is the Founder of Grategy. She is a business keynote speaker, gratitude expert, and author of 6 books including "The Upside of Down Times: Discovering the Power of Gratitude." She co-stars in two documentaries: "The Keeper of the Keys" with Jack Canfield and "The Gratitude Experiment."

Written by:Lisa Ryan

40 websites that will make you cleverer right now

khanacademy.org – Watch thousands of micro-lectures on topics ranging from history and medicine to chemistry and computer science.

freerice.com – Help end world hunger by correctly answering multiple-choice quizzes on a wide variety of subjects.

whizzpast.com- Learn about our awe inspiring past all in one wonderful place.

artofmanliness.com – Blog/site dedicated to all things manly, great for learning life skills and good insights.

unplugthetv.com – Randomly selects an educational video for you to watch.

coursera.org – Educational site that works with universities to get their courses on the Internet, free for you to use.

conversations.nokia.com – Learn about the world’s most innovative smartphones and future mobile tech.

lizardpoint.com – A collection of browser-based games and the like to improve knowledge of geography, math, and such.

ted.com – Collection of TED (Technology, Entertainment and Design) talks in which knowledgeable speakers address a variety of topics in short videos (< 18 minutes)

lifehacker.com – Learn to hack life! Tips and tricks for improving all areas of your life.

lifehackninja.com – Recently started life hack site that offers lists of useful knowledge

good.is/infographics – Collection of infographics which showcase useful information in an easy to digest visual format.

mathrun.net – Practice your basic maths skills with a simple game.

Litro.co.uk – All you need to know about the wonderful world of books and writing.

justinguitar.com – Hundreds of free guitar lessons as well as some basic music theory.

duolingo.com – Learn a new language for free while helping to translate the web.

memrise.com – Learn things quickly and efficiently with flashcards that are spaced based on the spacing effect

cookingforengineers.com – A site containing one man’s explorations in food, with step by step instructions for making a wide variety of dishes.

thedatingspecialist.com – A weekly blog run by a professional dating coach, offers advice on a wide variety of relationship topics.

zenhabits.net – Blog about improving your life by making it simpler.

nerdfitness.com – Fitness resource for the average person.

mentalfloss.com – Interesting articles guaranteed to make you smile and get you thinking.

openculture.com – Compendium of free learning resources, including courses, textbooks, and videos/films.

charitynavigator.org – Site dedicated to reviewing charities so you can easily research any you’re interested in.

lettersofnote.com – Their tagline says it all: “Correspondence deserving of a wider audience”

thedailymiscellany.com – A daily dose of useful knowledge, quotes, and other random things.

MIT Open Courseware – Free access to quite a few MIT courses that are on par with what you’d expect from MIT.

codecademy.com – Website packed with introductory courses for various programming languages and web technologies.

investopedia.com – Learn about the world of finance, from basic terminology to in depth analysis of various areas of investing.

udacity.com – Free courses mainly focused around mathematics and programming. Aimed at people of all skill levels.

lang-8.com – Write posts in a language you’re trying to learn, get them critiqued by a native speaker (and in turn help that native speaker learn your language)!

careerbuilder.com – Job hunting site to help you find a new career.

ureddit.com – Reddit’s very own University. Learn from redditors, or try to teach them.

engineerguy.com – Collection of videos in which Bill breaks down various feats of engineering in layman’s terms.

zooniverse.org – Take part in a huge variety of interesting studies of nature, science, and culture.

quora.com – Ask questions you’re curious about, answer those you’re knowledgeable about. Tailor your own feed to fit what interests you.

thenewboston.org – A fascinating collection of videos and tutorials related to maths and computer science.

aldaily.com – Aggregation of articles from various higher education journals and publications.

noexcuselist.com/everything – A huge list of awesome sites to learn from.

livemocha.com – Community dedicated to the idea of everyone being fluent in multiple languages, teach or be taught another language with the goal of conversational fluency.

simplesciencefitness.com – Breaks down the science behind fitness into layman’s terms.

Friendship: An Unbreakable Bond Between Two True Friends

What is friendship? It could signify a special platonic bond between two people. Friendship could mean many things. It is doing things together; sharing a secret, laughing at some corny joke, texting just to say "Hi", or someone calling to find out how you are, and leaving a slice of pie or a piece of chocolate because you were not there at the party.

Friendship can blossom and continue for a lifetime. You can be childhood friends and at some point in your life, your best friend relocates, and you lost contact. As a child, you may feel the pangs of a lost playmate. You get over your sadness after a few days and find new friends again.

As you grow older, you may realize the value of friendship. You need good friends to talk about your problems and share your happiness, too. You want someone present in your life who can be your real best friend in all good times and bad times of your life.

Today, it could be a bit hard to find a true friend. Of course, you have your family as the closest circle of friend Somehow, you may have to step out of your personal comfort zone and seek someone else who could be your potential friend for life. So how do you start this kind of friendship?

You can find friends in your vicinity, in school and at work. You start making friends because you are together with these people and so you learn something about each other. You choose your friends based on similar likes and dislikes, and simply because you enjoy a good bond and great conversation. In addition, you are looking for thoughtful friends who are concerned about you; and as a friend, you would care just as much, too.

Keep in mind that friendship is a worthy investment. It may not be a financial investments, but rather it is a great investment on relationships. You make it worthwhile by making friends, by being a friend to someone and then creating opportunity to work on this relationship.

There are many good character traits of a true friend. Somehow, keep the most important factors close to your heart. You could never go wrong when friends have these traits in their personas.

For one, a true friend is around to help you at your lowest situation. This is someone you can call when you are in trouble or someone you can rely on for help during tough times. Once you call, your friend comes and is at your side at once.

Secondly, a true friend is somebody who gives you emotional or physical support. This person is someone you can trust with your personal problems, a shoulder to cry on and someone who would simply listen and not judge you. This true friend encourages you, and provides moral support to resolve your problems.

Furthermore, a true friend is somebody who will fight to defend you. Your friend has your back and have you covered from harm. If an ugly gossip about you reaches your friend, you can expect a well-prepared attack; heated discussions, arguments and to some extent, things can get physical. Hopefully, there would be no hair-pulling and other similar defensive reactions.

In addition, a true friend commits to helping you grow spiritually and makes a better person of you. A real friend completes you and helps you grow. In return, you perfectly compliment one another.

Everyone must try hard to be a true friend because by being one you will possibly gain great friends. You can be a true friend since it is within your control; you choose to connect and build unbreakable bonds of friendship with someone who cares for you and loves you, no matter what happens.

Evelyn C. Lalisan is a freelance online article writer for about four years. She writes about general topics such as health, beauty, pets, family, relationships, fashion and other similar subjects. Her previous articles can be accessed thru a writing site online

Written by:Evelyn C. Lalisan

This Man Is Dating Someone Even Though He’s Married. Sounds Disgusting, But I’m On His Side.

Jarrid Wilson is a husband, pastor, author, and blogger. And he has a confession that has everyone talking lately. You’ll see why below.

On Jarrid’s blog post titled, “I’m Dating Someone Even Thought I’m Married,” he writes:

On Jarrid’s blog post titled, “I’m Dating Someone Even Thought I’m Married,” he writes:

“I have a confession to make. I’m dating someone even though I’m married.

She’s an incredible girl. She’s beautiful, smart, cunning, strong, and has an immensely strong faith in God. I love to take her out to dinner, movies, local shows, and always tell her how beautiful she is. I can’t remember the last time I was mad at her for longer than five minutes, and her smile always seems to brighten up my day no matter the circumstances.

Sometimes she will visit me at work unannounced, make me an incredible lunch, or even surprise me with something she personally baked. I can’t believe how lucky I am to be dating someone even though I am married. I encourage you to try it and see what it can do for your life.

Oh! Did I mention the woman I am dating is my wife? What did you expect?

Just because you’re married, doesn’t mean your dating life should end.

I need to continue to date my wife even after I marry her. Pursuing my wife shouldn’t stop just because we both said, “I do.” Way too many times do I see relationships stop growing because people stop taking the initiative to pursue one another.

Dating is a time where you get to learn about someone in a special and unique way. Why would you want that to ever stop? It shouldn’t. Those butterflies you got on the first date shouldn’t stop just because the years have passed. Wake up each day and pursue your spouse as if you are still on your first few dates. You will see a drastic change for the better in your relationship.

When it comes to any relationship, communication and the action of constant pursuit is key. Nobody wants to be with someone who doesn’t want to pursue them whole-heartedly.

I encourage you to date your spouse, pursue them whole-heartedly, and understand that dating shouldn’t end just because you said, “I do.”

written by: Jarrid Wilson

You can (and should) Visit Jarrid’s Web Site and Like Him On Facebook

You Have It In You To Take On The Challenge

ou have it in you to take on the challenge. What is that challenge? It is the thing that you have been putting off for years. The thing you fear. The thing that keeps you stating I need to have something before I can start. Take on that challenge.

I will share a story with you of a time when I thought I had to cross certain stages before reaching the top of the mountain. In my late 20s I took on the sport of snow skiing. I wanted to make sure I was prepared for this adventure so I enrolled in ski school and attended weekly lessons. I found myself catching onto this sport quickly with minimal occasions of falling; however, I was still on the bunny hill. The bunny hill is the area for beginners; it was a flat surface of snow. I was comfortable on the bunny hill and pleased with what I had accomplished. While there were larger more challenging mountains around me I felt more time was needed on the bunny hill to perfect my skill of skiing.

Then one weekend when I was in the company of some expert skiers while still on the bunny hill. My friend observed and stated, "You seem to be picking this up quickly come with us over to this other area to ski". I followed my friend trusting that they knew I was a beginner and would not guide me to something out of my element of skill. We got on a chair lift that seemed never ending. As we were going higher I noticed this was not a bunny hill nor was it an intermediate slope.

Once we reached the top I discovered it was one of the most challenging black diamond slopes. I stated to my friend, "What have you done I am not yet at the level to ski this black diamond, I have yet to ski the intermediate slope". My friend replied, "Yes you are I have observed your skill". I immediately started to look around for a less challenging slope and there was none.

Several emotions ran through my mind at that moment.

• The first emotion was anger: I asked myself why my friend would take me to this black diamond slope knowing I was just a beginner.
• The second emotion was fear: I thought about taking my skis off and walking down the slope; however, that was impossible due to it was a vertical drop down and walking was not an option.
• The third emotion was taking the challenge: I had no other way of getting down but to attempt to ski down.

While my friend offered encouraging words I was not yet convinced. I stood at the top of the mountain looking out over the horizon and going over in my mind a strategy of how to tackle this venture. After making sure my ski boots were securely attached to my skis I took on the challenge and proceeded down the black diamond slope with great speed and concentration.

Finally I reached the point of leveled ground and to my surprise I did not fall. Once I grasped the moment of relief I looked at that black diamond slope and never ventured back to the bunny hill again.

I thank my friend for seeing something in me that needed to go higher. What black diamond mountain are you avoiding? You have it in you to take the challenge. It is your time. Go for it!

Harmony In Motion is a interpersonal skills team building development company. We provide teams and individuals with the knowledge to work together in harmony by improving their interpersonal relationships

written by:Terri Harmon Ph.D.

I'll Fix That Later

About two hours ago, my hubby moved our Christmas Poinsettia because it was blocking his view of our 60inch television . But, the man large TV syndrome is another topic and another story. He crammed the Poinsettia under the second shelf of our coffee table. Of course you know that didn't work very well, plant three feet high, space between shelves two feet.

My poor plant was squashed and looking rather sad by this time. But, the part that really got to me was watching the leaves fall off on the floor and the dirt sprinkled about the leaves on my previously clean floor. If you have ever seen dried out Poinsettia leaves you know what I'm talking about.

You guessed it he looks over at me and says "I'll fix that later." Yes, it has been two hours and "later" still hasn't arrived. How many times have we all said this and later never seems to come. We then end up with so many "I'll fix that later" jobs that we end up with a cluttered mess and a big job on our hands.

I don't know about you but, I live by the old adage taught to me by a former boss. I was feeling overhelmed one day and my boss could see my tense body language, not to mention the stressed look on my face. Elizabeth asked me "Do you know how to eat an elephant?" I smiled and simply replied "No." Her answer "One bite at a time."

So it became "one bite at a time" and not "I'll fix that later" for me. This has been one of the keys to keeping my home clean, organized and clutter free.

I don't believe you can or should change others, only yourself. That is not to say you can't change how you deal with them, but you can't change them. The issue was not a discussion worth having in my opinion, remember pick your battles, save it for the big stuff. My beloved hubby of twenty-five years is not about to change and live by my adage. I accept it, just as he accepts I am not going to change and live by his adage. The art of the compromise!

You can still reach your organizing, decluttering and cleaning goals. I promise I did in a house with five children, two dogs and one husband. Now if you will excuse me, I am off to clean my floor.

written by:Karen M Murdock

5 New Year Resolutions For Singles

Going into a New Year and you are single. It's not the worst thing that could happen. Instead of making resolutions you won't stick to, try these easy resolutions that can make your year as a single a whole lot better.

1. Out with the Old and in with the New. This does just a " New Year" phrase, but can be a statement in regards to your relationships. If a person is not is not in your present, then there is a reason for that. Stop trying to figure out why they are not there, stop trying to bring the bad relationship karma with you into future relationships, and stop trying to figure out what you did wrong. Because whatever the answer to those questions may be, it does not matter. All that matters is the present and moving froward. So if you are stuck on past people or relationships, do not let that drama come with you into the new year. Let it go.

2. Make a resolution that makes you better. You can always make a resolution not to be single. But look at the reasons that are keeping you from a relationship. Look at making a resolutions that makes you a better and make you feel more confident. This could be working out, taking classes, or taking better care of your health. A better feeling you, means that your confidence level will soar through the roof, and people around you will notice. And you never know, being a better you, may attract a better person.

3. Get out, get up, and go somewhere. If you are constantly visiting the same bars, clubs, and places. And your still single. Then guess what, it may be time for a change. If the places that you were going to didn't work out so well, why not step out of your comfort zone and try something or somewhere different. One thing that borders on the side of being uncool, is when you walk in the bar and everyone knows your name. They know what you are going to order, they know all about your personal business, and because you frequent there so much the bar tender gave you a christmas for the holidays. Its a little lame. Try a little change os scenery

3. Dress up. Dressing up can be an underestimated thing. I dare you to go outside with no make up on, sweats, and looking like the hot mess express and see how much attention you get. Then I dare you to look your finest meaning make up, perfume, and putting some thought into your appearance. It is not just about other people that will notice you because of your appearance. But looking your best also makes you feel good about yourself. And when you feel good about yourself. Other people take notice as well.

4. Don't Worry be Happy. If you are going into the new year single. Don't fret and get all upset and depressed about it. Enjoy your life anyway. Weather you are having a dinner for one or two, just be joyful. If you are a depressed single, then what makes you think that someone else is magically going to make you happy. Other people do not make you happy. You make yourself happy, and allow the other person to add on to your awesome package of happiness. Often times, when people see you are happy on your own, they are more open to being in a relationships with you, because they assume that you are not going to be Debbie Downer the whole time.

So if you are going into the new year single. Fret not. It is not the end of the world. Just enjoy your life, and your New Year resolution should be to make your life better than it was last year. Weather you are with someone or not.

written by:Sophia reed

5 Quick Tips to Bless Your Life Through the Power of Forgiveness

#1 - Make it unnecessary

Where there is no offence taken, the need for forgiveness would not arise. So the foremost strategy for avoiding the stress of having to forgive is to make ourselves inaccessible to hurt. We can do this by being more mindful of our words and actions - choosing to desist from speaking or acting if we sense that such would demean ourselves or hurt others. We also need to guard against taking ourselves too seriously, though, so as not to open ourselves wide to many real and imagined hurts.

#2 - Take a humorous view.

A favorite teacher often told me, "Don't be annoyed - be amused!" Taking a humorous view of an otherwise exasperating situation often defuses tensions and may provide the added benefit of allowing you to have an insight into the most appropriate response to make.

This verse from Shakespeare's "As You Like It" has many a time assisted me to see the funny picture:

"All the world's a stage,

And all the men and women merely players:

They have their exits and their entrances;

And one man in his time plays many parts... "

Needless to say, if you succeed in finding amusement in a situation you'll be more willing to forgive all parties involved, if at all such is still needed.

#3 - Maintain your peace

You may not be able to determine what other people do, but you can decide how you would react. You can simply refuse to be offended. Just reword the famous quote attributed to Eleanor Roosevelt, former American First Lady: "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent" to read "No one can make you feel hurt without your consent" It boils down to the same formula, really - just let it go.

St Paul expressed a similar idea thus, "If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone." - Romans 12:18

While all the forgoing strategies have been aimed at avoiding having to task our power of forgiveness, the next two would aim at transmuting feelings of hurt into forgiveness.

#4 - Out of evil comes good

You can choose to see the good that has come out of what was directed at you with evil intent. Did they make you toil - well they may have made your tougher thereby; did they expose you to ridicule - well, maybe they've succeeded in strengthening your character. Life has a way of balancing misfortunes with benefits. The old saying goes "It's an ill wind that blows no one any good."

Said Napoleon Hill, "Every adversity, every failure, and every heartache, carries with it the Seed of an equivalent or greater Benefit".

Painful though it may be, try to see the good that has come out of the evil intentions of others and move on. Realize that the important thing is what the experience has made of you. Above all, know that you can only radiate the splendour that the experience has bestowed on you when you wash off the bitterness with the balm of forgiveness.

#5 - Take it as redemptive

Choose not to see the scenarios of your life as concluded chapters. Exercise your imagination - and hope - to see a happy ending to each episode that hurt you deeply. It is said that what was hard to bear often turns out sweet to recount. Know too that those who hurt you the most may yet see the wrongness of their acts and seek to make amends.

But then, even if the perpetrators never come to make amends, Nature, through her spiritual laws of compensation, does so anyway. For as you choose to forgive, so would you be forgiven and granted the privileges of divine grace.

In the words of the Rev. (Dr). Martin Luther King Jr:

"My personal trials have also taught me the value of unmerited suffering. As my sufferings mounted I soon realized that there were two ways that I could respond to my situation: either to react with bitterness or seek to transform the suffering into a creative force. I decided to follow the latter course. Recognizing the necessity for suffering I have tried to make of it a virtue. If only to save myself from bitterness, I have attempted to see my personal ordeals as an opportunity to transform myself and heal the people involved in the tragic situation which now obtains. I have lived these last few years with the conviction that unearned suffering is redemptive... "

What is the ultimate approach to excellence? Of what relevance is spirituality in your quest for fulfillment and bliss? John D'Silva's effective-spirituality.com offers insights that would surprise and refresh you. John is happily devoted to helping You unleash Your Spirit of Excellence. Intelligence directs the universe, not chance...

written by:John D'Silva